Being Evil with PPC Trademarks

Google AdWords announced that starting June 15th, it’ll be open season on trademarked terms in ads. While re-sellers are celebrating in the streets, planning on swooping in on all the ad text they can write for Nike, Dell, the NBA and Sony, some of us are a little more protective of our precious trademarks. Those ™s don’t file themselves you know.

So, how do you still capture that brand name searcher when you’re the brand name? Sure you’ll have the lower CPC and all cause you’re more “relevant” – but still,  competition is competition and it must be crushed. (Even if they are your own affiliate. Why pay them 8% that you can keep for yourself?)

Mr. Burns said it best: “Family, religion, friendship … these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.”

evil_mr_burns

Eggcellent...

What’s the plan? It’s a two-pronged attack. First prong: scream from the rooftops in your own branded keyword ads that you are the original, the official, and the never-duplicated. Second prong: buy their branded keywords and Trash and Sully Your Competitors Effectively. Working those two hand-in-hand will surely crush all hopes and dreams of those infringing on your trademark.

Examples:

You are the Acai Berry drink creator…

Drink Acai Berry Soda
Get The Real Thing
Not the Fake Acai Soda.

Fake Acai Berry
Bob’s Acai Sodas aren’t the Real
Thing. Monkey Urine Added.

You are Apple…

Real Macbook Air
With Warranties & Support.
You’ll Have to Pay Elsewhere.

Macbook Air Sale
Available with Warranty for
Additional $500! Breaks easy.

You are Vera Wang…

Vera Wang Weddings
Genuine Vera Wang Wedding
Dresses from our NYC showroom.

Vera Wang Dresses
Made in the Phillipines &
Cost the Same as the Showroom!

You are the NBA…

Official NBA Gear
Authentic Jerseys, Hats &
Sportswear from the NBA.

NBA Stuff
Made in China, Most items
are Spelled Correctly.

You are Office Depot…

Office Depot Store
Online 24-7, Shop the
Real Office Depot Now!

Office Depot
Office Supplies Ship in 10-12
Months, When We Feel Like It.

You are Sephora Cosmetics…

Sephora Online Store
Official Site of Sephora Stores!
Buy Online just like in the Store

Not Sephora Online
Animal-Tested, Rash-Inducing Cosmetics
that are not really from Sephora.

Also, please note how I used real companies and infringed-upon real trademarks in this post. Let the games begin!

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