Most of the search engines these days are offering up help with optimizations, in particular with ads and keyword lists. Typically an average spend has to be met in order to get into these programs, to get those free tips and tricks from the “experts.” Or sometimes, you can request or apply for a one-shot help deal.
So you would expect that since you’re getting “help” from the search engine itself that they must know the inner workings and be able to garner you that “Great” Quality Score you’ve asked Santa for repeatedly for that ad on Viagra pills, but just can’t get.
Of course, we all know that there is no way that’s going to happen. Come on – a higher cost per click is more money in their pockets, guaranteed! Placing your trust in this system is silly. Trust the Villain. The Villain knows how to get around the system and get you the clicks you deserve.
But now the Villain has a new competitor: Yahoo Search Marketing. Apparently those devious devils are taking those ad optimization requests and outsourcing them to India. Brilliant! Cheaper minions, strange ads that generate curiosity clicks (when someone clicks on your ad just figure out what on earth you’re all about) and low quality index scores! You pay more, they keep more!
The key seems to be: mangling the English language just enough to pass inspection but fail the test to gather quality traffic. Check out some of these beauties! (Ads have been altered to protect the innocent, implicate the guilty and make us laugh.)
Example victim: Senior nursing home: Event Horizons (not the movie – this is the part where you laugh.)
Ad #1
“Nursing home for seniors: Active home for Seniors. Try Event Horizon’s for free.”
Notice how Event Horizons now owns the word “free.” Royalties everywhere!
Ad #2
“Nursing home for seniors: Active home for seniors. Try Event Horisons for a free.”
Notice how they spelled the client name incorrectly and added that “a” before free? Wonderful work, just excellent.
Ad #3
“Nursing home for seniors: Our curricula makes sure your parents & you can be separated easily.”
Notice how the use of the word curricula makes you wonder if it’s a word (it is) and then swapped you and your parents? That’s a curiosity click generator if ever I saw one!
We can only hope that somewhere a Facebook fan club for Yahoo’s outsourcing methods has already been created so that we can join it.
To the internet!
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